Daily Journal End |
3/16/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I don’t feel so good, not only in body but also in heart. 3/17/97. Daily Journal
Monday. I was sick last night in the bathroom. The Lord certainly has taken
care of me in this life; I have no idea why He has chosen to take care of me in
such a fashion. And now I want to get on a path to serve Him with all that I
am. 3/18/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. I took 2 naps and they were longer than usual. I think that this is
the result of the insulin. Tomorrow Brian is coming over after that it is full
study for more than a week, I have to find something out for myself. 3/19/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. I went to the mall with Brian
today we had a good time as usual; he gets all excited about the government
just as I do. So we sometimes have some lively conversations, we have people
looking at us sometimes I am sure that they think that we are arguing. 3/20/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. It is 5 PM and I am completely bored, I don’t even feel like
solitaire, of course I should put in that I have already played this afternoon
for about 2 hours. Weather-wise it is a very nice day; I took a small ride to
N.Adams. I guess maybe the boredom will pass; who knows everyday it is
different. 3/22/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. Danny was over for a little while, it is always good to have him come
over for a visit, he had to leave to go to work. I believe that he is pleased
that I am getting some interest in chess back. I don’t think that it will ever
be like it was once, but it is becoming fun again. Right now it is snowing
again. Will this winter ever end?? 3/23/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. A very good day and I have no complaints, now how’s that grab you? 3/25/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. I am at this time not very happy, I called my children to see what
time they wanted me to deliver the little presents to the kids for Easter. They
were all very short with me, and there were no invites for dinner or anything
else for that day. Kelly couldn’t talk with me because she had to go right out
and do her wash, she couldn’t come to the phone for a few seconds? It seems
that they are to spend the day at their mother’s house for Shawn’s birthday, I
don’t mind that, but the way thay treated me leaves a lot to be desired. The
only thing that Shayne was concerned with was that he didn’t know about the
birthday party and started talking about how he was not invited to the party, I
was glad to get off the phone with him. 3/28/97. Daily Journal
Friday. I don’t know why but I didn’t do much of the things that I wanted to
do. I talked to Will on the phone for a while today about chess on the
Internet. I have always gotten along with Will. It is very nice day weather
wise, everything is melting so now I have ruts in my driveway; I had to wait
until spring to get them. Second entry. Steve just came over, it seems that he
and Kelly will be buying Carols house, I really hope that they get it; it would
be nice to see them have a house of their own. And it seems that it just might
happen, Steve was very excited they must all be very excited. I am glad that
they think enough of me that they would even value my opinion, at all. 3/30/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Sunday about noon, I went up to Danny’s this morning Shawn and Shayne
and a little later Tara came in and of course Colleen was there; it was very
nice for me. We all had a nice chat while Shawn played with the computer;
Brianna tried to bean most of us with this paddleball that she was playing
with. Evan was very busy; of course with Shayne there he was fully occupied.
Happy Easter! 4/1/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. Today first I had to get my syringes, I had used my last one
yesterday. I had to get over to the bank first because I had no money at all;
it took me at least 45 minuets to just get the snow off of the car. By the time
I got done I really felt bad, shaky and a lot of other things, then I went to
the bank and their computer was down. But the pretty little woman at the teller
station let me have what I needed. Then I was off to brooks for the syringes, I
really felt that they made me wait for nothing, then what seemed like forever,
they gave them to me. They were $40, I took them home immediately and took my
shot, I was beginning to feel real bad, and so I laid down in the front room
for a while. After a while I began to feel better, so I went out to do the
monthly grocery shopping, I think that I did well. I got home and put
everything away, which took a while. I called Calgary about my appointment for
the car, and as a result got to go a little earlier than I should have been
able too. It seemed like they took forever with the car, but they serviced it
and did the inspection, I hate getting cars inspected, but that is over for a
year. Then I went back to the bank to pick up my bankbook and see that pretty
little woman again. Finally I was home, Danny was here working upon the
computer. I lay down for a while but didn’t fall asleep which I thought I was
going to. And then Brian showed up we had some chicken and a good talk; we
talked mainly about God’s Word. All in all it could be called a very full day.
Hopefully I won’t even leave the house for at least a week, we will see. 4/3/97. Daily Journal Thursday. Today is the day that I started in
the GE, if I were still there this would be my 30th anaversy. Isn’t that great,
I wonder what I was like that day, what was I thinking, and what kind of a guy
was I? I know one thing, on that day I could never had guessed where I would
have been in life on this day 30 years later. I went to the mall to see Brian
and we had a good time as usual, but he can still say the dumbest things that I
have ever heard anyone else say, ever! 4/4/97. Daily Journal
Friday. I got Dion’s tape today, he doesn’t understand almost anything, In my
tape I was talking about an optimist and a pessimist. Like is the glass half
empty or half full, the optistmist always says that it is half full, and the
opposite for the pessimist, and he had no idea of what was being said about
this. Why do I keep this communication up, now he is talking about talking 3 or
4 nights a week on the computer. 4/7/97. Daily Journal Monday. A very good day of study, a
fantastic day of study, like I say enough times in my studies, all you have to
do is to ask. and our great God is there for you. I evidently had enough sense
to ask this day of 4-7-97. I love you Lord, I have nothing better to say or I
would, one day I will. It is now 10 PM and I am very ready to go to bed,
tomorrow is another day. 4/8/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. Today was very windy, down at the Mall the wind was blowing the sand
from the winter around, it blew in your eyes and in your mouth it ground
between your teeth, it was not fun. This wind also was cold, and it was rocking
my car and to rock my car it had to be blowing very hard. Other than that I had
a very good day, I enjoyed going out with my sister today. 4/11/97. Daily Journal
Friday. I started my new study today and it went very well, it should end very
near the end of the year. I called my sister to go out today, she didn’t want
to. I am feeling like she sees me as her little dupe, when she wants to go out
I am suppose to jump. But otherwise we go by her rules. I just don’t have a
very good track record with women, and for the most part it must be my fault.
Tonight I am very lonely, and I hate it, please Lord help me, I say that
because I would very much leave this world, but that would hurt my family. Even
though I am an idiot, they still care for me. 4/18/97. Daily Journal
Friday. I have no idea why I have not made an entry in a week; well I am here
now. The weather is terrible, here it is half way through April and it is cold
wet and snowing almost all day, and it is supposed to continue into tomorrow. I
have a problem, I am having a problem attending Debies graduation, but maybe I
can get a ride there and then maybe get a bus ride home. I have been talking to
the kids about it, but they have been changing their plans. So we will see what
happens. 4/19/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. A very strange day indeed, I did my readings and did my Pastor Chuck,
but for the most part the day was chaos. By this I mean some days I have a
problem, making the smallest decision, and I have no idea why. Well today was
one of them; I was all right while reading and studying God’s Word or doing
Pastor Chuck’s tape study. But when doing anything else even going for a ride
complete chaos. I wonder, if, someone ever reads these journals, if they will
ever understand most of the things that I am saying. One thing that stands out
about today I did learn a lot about my drinking that I sometimes wondered
about, but didn’t really know. 4/23/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. I was just in the package store and I saw Margaret’s daughter, we
were talking about Debie’s graduation from college. Today my sister wanted to
go to the Mall again, I know that Bernie is away on his job, but I am not going
out all the time. There are times that I want to go and she thinks nothing of
telling me she doesn’t want to go. 4/24/97. Daily Journal Thursday. Today I suddenly got the answer
to the problems that I was having with money it wasn’t a big deal but it was
very bothersome, and was bothering me all the time. I went out just to ride
around and I was thinking about having to charge more tiers at Art’s gragrage.
Which I didn’t want to do and I really don’t think that he was pleased with
that prospect either. And I already still owed him for the other tires, and I
did have a few bills behind, so on the spur of the moment, I applied for a loan
at my bank. I didn’t think that I would get it, but guess what, I did get it in
only a few minuets. I really think that it was an inspiration from God; you see
He knew how badly this being behind was affecting me. Now on to the really good
stuff, Danny has found a way to convert my old disks so that I can read them on
my computer. This also saves me a lot of money, and makes me very happy; so
that I can now continue some of the studies that there was a lot of information
on the old disks. 4/25/97. Daily Journal
Friday. This morning I went to the mall with my sister, but first we went to
the Barnes and noble bookstore, we had coffee it was nice. I informed the lady
in Sears of Danny’s discovery and I don’t think that she was happy with that
disclosure. Well, that’s life; you see she would have made some money out of
selling me all that other stuff that she said that I needed. 4/27/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Danny came down today before he went to work, you don’t find very many
young men that will devote their free time to their father, I never did. We are
in the process of fixing up the files just the way I have always wanted them.
When we are done I will be able to read all of my old disks in this machine.
The people in Sears told me this couldn’t ever be done that which he is doing.
I wonder why they told me that, I think that they wanted to sell me some
machines that I didn’t need. 4/29/97, Daily Journal
Tuesday. Today I went to the mall with my sister, we had a good time, and I
tried not to talk about my studies too much. 5/4/97. Daily journal
Monday. I paid all the bills, always a thrill, tomorrow I will probably do some
wash, another tremendous thrill. Today it is very nice out; maybe we will have
spring after all. In fact I have been out side twice all ready. I was nice to
myself and went to get me a pizza, and it was great! I have been thinking about
the nice young men that have been visiting me every few days, they want to
baptize me, I knew that this is where they were going toward. I don’t think
that I need that and have told them that. I love God with all my heart and have
already been baptized in the church. And simply don’t see any more sigifinace
to theirs than the one that I already have. 5/7/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. A long and boring day and tonight looks the same so far, I don’t
know why but some days are so lonely that I don’t know what to do to relieve
it. I thinking starting tomorrow at night I am going to learn how to play some
of the games in this computer instead of just solitaire. There are a lot of
other things in here that I can us and don’t. 5/12/97. Daily Journal
Monday. I went to my appointment with Clutz, he says that the toe is much
better, so I will always have to be checking on it, but that’s not so bad.
After that I went to the mall to see Brian, and we had a good time, we usually
do for the most part. He’s still having trouble with his wife, I feel sorry for
them both, but there is nothing to be done. They need a counselor, a
professional. So here I am again. 5/14/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today I took Danny and little Evan down to the mall we had a good
time, and I bought a copier; Danny’s coming down tonight for a while to help me
with it. Debi called tonight and we
agreed that it would be better if I didn’t try to go to her graduation, but I
will see her this summer for a while. Steve and little Stevie borrowed my car
for his practice at Mt. greylock, and they should be back soon. 5/18/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Danny came over and tried to help me with my computer, He spends more
time with me than I ever did with my father. I saw Claire at Stop and Shop, and
she wants a copy of Debie’s graduation, I don’t mind, that tape really came out
great. 5/22/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. I just got the call from Debi that she is here and safe. I know that
they are all grownups but at the same time especially when they are traveling I
worry about them. I will see her for breakfast tomorrow, which will be nice. 5/25/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I have been out for about every day since I saw Debi a few days ago,
Saturday Kim and I went out and had a real good time, and we talk about
everything. Today I was down to the mall with Brian, and we had a good time as
usual. Kim and I ate supper at the Country Buffet, and today Brian and I had
supper at the Ground round. And here I am 6 PM and ready for solitaire. 5/28/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today I went out with my sister to the mall and I told her that Kim
was made girl of the year at the awards banquet last night. I am proud of my
children and grand children’s accomplishments. Danny was down for a few minuets
this evening; he’s going back to college. He was here to update the computer
and he did; now all I have to do is to learn all that he did and learn to use
it. 5/29/97. Daily Journal Thursday. I have the computer as organized
as it is ever going to be so on with the studies, thanks to Danny. 5/30/97. Daily Journal Friday. I installed my new CD on learning
to read Hebrew, and it works well and I am sure that I will have a very good
time with it. 6/1/97. Daily Journal Sunday. Well this is Kelly’s birthday; I
told her that she ruined the show the fugitive for me that night so long ago
now. She is an interesting person and the world would be a worse place with out
her. If you ever read this Kelly just remember that I love you. 6/7/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. Today was Evan’s birthday party at what used to be fishpond, I can
tell you this that being there brought back a lot of memories of my childhood.
This place is where we practically grew up, in the summer we spent everyday
there. O there was Butch Barn Heart Billy O’Brian, and Paul Monett; we had some
good times there, we were always doing something. But as to the party it self,
Claire was there and that as always brings back a lot of memories. And I had no
choice but to sit right next to her and her husband. Other than that it was an
interesting afternoon, the kids had a great time for themselves. Kim was taking
care of Evan, he just loves her, Stevie was playing Frisbee with his father,
and Michael was entertaining himself with a little wagon. None of the family
seems to care for Tara, but that’s family, isn’t it? 6/10/97. Daily Journal Tuesday. I went to the mall with my sister,
I guess we had a good day, nothing interesting happened, except for some reason
I hurt a lot arthritis type. Tonight is very lonely what can I tell you, Brian
says that I am lonely and that is the reason that I call him all the time well
we will try to fix that, the worst thing is that he is right. But I think that
I can cure a lot of that with my studies, which I am about to dive into. I look
forward to tomorrow’s entry. This room will be very nice when the fan is up; it
really made a great difference in the kitchen. 6/12/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. Today as I was pulling out of my sister’s road we almost had a very
bad accident and it would have been my fault. So now I am seriously worried
about my vision having to do with driving. The first time I looked down the
road I honestly didn’t see the car coming, then when I looked again as I was
actually pulling out I looked again and there he was bearing down on us at
about 60 miles an hour. I am sure this car would have killed me, and maybe my
sister, and it would have been my fault, period. So now I have a lot to think
about. 6/15/97. Daily Journal
Sunday I have found out how to use the colors, compliments of Kim. She and
Stevie were her playing with the computer; they were here for a couple of
hours. Kelly came over to wish me happy Fathers day, Danny also was over today
and I heard from Shayne and Debi on the phone. Maybe Shawn will call later. 6/17/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. Happy birthday, 55 years old, I never thought that I would ever be 55,
O well here I am. Kelly sent me some balloon’s that was very nice of her; she
is a very thoughtful person. Kim and Stevie called me to wish me a happy
birthday; Danny called me from work for the same reason. Debi, Shawn, and
Shayne called for both Fathers day and my birthday Sunday. 6/21/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. Today is the hottest day of the year so far it is above 90, and very
sunny. My sister called up to complain about the heat, Arthur also was
complaining about it, I am just happy that it is not winter anymore. I have
been doing a lot of thinking about Dion’s tape lately he is saying a lot of things
that I cannot agree with, and he thinks that I do. A distressing situation, I
feel that soon I am going have to set him straight. 6/26/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. I went to the mall with my sister and did a dumb thing I borrowed $20
from her for a dopey reason. Brian thinks that what I need is a girlfriend; I
think that I will pass. Well the fans are up and that makes me glad, I also put
another air conditioner into the front room, so the place will not be hot
anymore. Now I can live in prefect comfort year round. 6/29/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I had a good day of study as was yesterday, today was in James, I love
doing these especially now that they are all in the computer. I don’t
understand all of that but I have a son that does so I am all set. 7/4/97. Yesterday I went to
the mall with Kim and Stevie and we had lunch at Bonanza. It was nice to take
them out. Today the weather is just great a perfect day, nice and warm with a
lot of sun and a breeze. I went out for a couple of rides, it was a very boring
4th of July, theres nothing to do anymore there used to be a great
deal to do in Williamstown there was a carnival and all kinds of stuff. But
mostly the kids ruined it all over the years. O well the day is almost over, it
won’t make me unhappy to go to bed and have it over with. 7/5/97. Daily Journal Saturday. Today I went down to the mall to
see Brian, I am sad to say that he is very angry over the things that are
happening in his divorce, I don’t blame him, but there is nothing to be done
except to frustrate himself more and more. We had a few laughs but for the most
part he was busy being mad at his wife. I have a long Saturday night ahead of
me, but you know in reality, really I probably do prefer being alone even
though I do complain about it. I don’t know if anyone understands this
statement, or even if I do, but there are times that I am happy to be alone in
my little place. I just love being here alone sometimes, one day I won’t have
to worry about it anymore. 7/7/97. Daily Journal
Monday. Today I went to the car place and didn’t get very far; they just don’t
want to give enough for the car. So I am just going to forget about it, and pay
for the car, and then we will see. But for now I am going to forget about
trading it. I am listening to Pastor Chuck, saying how Satan will try with all
his might to convince you that God does not care for you, and this is a lie of
Satan’s for all of us. 7/8/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. Today Kim had her operation on her knee, she seems to be doing all
right, it is quarter to 6 and I just came home from seeing her. Today the
weather was just about perfect; I keep thinking that winter is just around the
corner. Tomorrow I start Ezekiel. 7/10/97. Today was a good day of study in Ezekiel, I am getting
started again, I am very glad to be doing this kind of a thing. The weather was
very nice today; it was so nice that I took a ride way up on the Mohawk trail
where we used to take the kids to throw rocks in the water. I had a funny experience
there; as soon as I was out of the car I was apprehensive of my surroundings. I
have never felt that way there before, I must really be getting older. I think
tomorrow I will take a walk; I know that I need too. 7/11/97. Daily Journal Friday. Tomorrow is little Michael’s
birthday party at Fish Pond. 7/16/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. For the last few days it has
been terribly hot and humid, it has been almost 100 and not lower than 80, at
night it is 70 or so and that is only late at night. I got a tape from Dion, he
doesn’t know anything, I explained all about the three days and nights of Jesus
in the heart of the earth but he doesn’t get it. 7/18/97. Daily Journal Friday. Today I went to the mall and meant
Brian there we had a good time as usual, although he keeps talking about his
wife and this person that he thinks that she is seeing. I am afraid there could
be real trouble there, sometime. 7/21/97. Daily Journal
Monday. Brian was supposed to come up today for breakfast, but was unable to
because his wife took his new car and went to his sisters house and would not
give it back, she wants the car and wants him to pay for it. He called his
lawyer and he told Brian to just sit tight, that seems like that is going to be
hard to do in their situation. So I went to the mall and meant him for coffee,
we went to the Barnes and Noble bookstore. We had a good time once he started
to calm down. I want to believe that I bought my last beer today, maybe!?! 7/22/97. Daily Journal Tuesday. Today Brian came up here for
breakfast, I am sure that he enjoyed it, we had eggs and sausage and my
potatoes. Then we went for a walk in Williamstown, Brian had to back track to
the gas station to go to the bathroom. We had a nice walk then we went to the
mall, all in all a good day for me, most of the day Brian hollered about his
wife. They are really having one awful time with their divorce, 7/24/97. Daily Journal Thursday. I went to the mall with Brian, he
is having an awful time with this divorce, and tomorrow he is having a meeting
with his lawyer. This afternoon Danny came down for a while. He is working on a
way that I can speak my documents into the computer, one day this will be very
helpful to me. Kim and Stevie wanted to go out to lunch but Danny was down so
we didn’t go. 7/28/97. Daily Journal Monday. Weatherize today was perfect, Kim
and I went to the mall and then went to Barnes and Noble bookstore, we were
there about 2 hours. Kim really likes this store, we had a good time there,
after that we went to the Country Buffet and had lunch. We had a nice
discussion about the prophets of the Bible. We came home through N.Adams and
had a nice leisurely ride and just all in all had a nice time together. Second entry. Kelly just called me to
thank me for taking Kim out today. That’s no chore I love the kid. It was very
nice of Kelly to call, I really felt good about things after that. Kim told
Kelly that she had a good time I was glad to hear that. 7/30/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. I called my sister today [I should not have] she was very short with
me, I will not make that mistake again, I don’t know if we are done but we are
indeed close. I had a nice talk with the bank; we will resolve this problem
with this car payment I am sure. I want to live for our Lord for the rest of my
life, I am So.’s to speak, going to redouble my efforts, this is what I need,
and I know it. 8/1/97. Daily Journal
Friday. I got John on the phone today he is going to call me back week after
next, so was Clarence, so we will see he seems eager to tell me how easy he had
it with his retirement as opposed to my time doing this. I talked to Brian today, he is having a real
bad time with this divorce, I am supposed to see him tomorrow, so we will see
how things are going. Today is the first; I am going to really try to stop
drinking, [as I have said before] we will see!! 8/2/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. I went down to see Brian today; he is having real troubles over this
divorce, now he has hired a detective, who is draining him for money. I am
learning from his troubles that know one cares for anyone else’s problems
unless they can get something from your problems. I did talk to him about his
brother, and he agreed that what his brother said was stupid. It was a real
nice day and I ate out at the mall. Tonight will be long, Brian thinks what I
do is dumb; he asked me what I was going to be doing tonight. I admit that
there are not a lot of people that could be happy doing what I do. But that’s
the way that it is, all I want to do is to gain a better and a better
understanding of God and His Son Jesus 8/3/97. Daily Journal Sunday. I took Kelly’s family to the Old
Country Buffet for breakfast. We all had a good time, if only it was not so far
away, everybody enjoyed themselves that’s the kind of thing that I like to do.
On the way down we saw a large Bear, out near the old 1896 house, everybody was
excited about this happening. The Bear was under a tree eating apples, he sure
looked like he was having a good time. This was a Pastor Chuck afternoon, I am
sorry to say that I slept through a lot of it, I will be glad when this study
is over. 8/8/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Today I took my sister to the mall and we had no trouble, things are
definitely getting better between us and that is good, I want to get along it
does neither of any good not too. The weather today was beautiful and this
evening is just great, maybe I’ll even sit out for a while. I actually feel
good how’s that grab you? Tomorrow Isaiah. 8/10/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I saw Brian at the mall today
in the afternoon and he surely is having one awful time of this divorce. Just
as a note; he now has a restraining order against his wife; this is terrible! I
am praying for them, I have no other idea that will help them. Today’s weather
was very nice, beautiful in fact. 8/13/97. Daily journal
Wednesday. Today Kim and Kelly have come over to see this computer. 8/17/97 Daily Journal Sunday. Well all this weekend I didn’t see
Brian or his brother, by the way his brother I could live very well without. As
result I had a nice and quiet weekend. Kelly went away with Steve to Hampton
Beach; I hope they had a good time. I didn’t do the studying that I had wanted
to but I will. O well August is going and
so winter is coming on very fast. 8/21/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. I went up to see Danny. Evan is something, and Brianna is getting
big. Danny is going to have some vacation and he says that he is going to spend
some time with me. 8/24/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Today I was going to study but today Brian came over, but it was all
right we went for a walk and had a good time, he hollered about his divorce but
not as much as other times. The weather today was one word, great. I called my
sister and told her that I was sick and wasn’t going to go for a while, I don’t
know I just don’t have a good time going with her anymore. I can explain it,
but I just don’t want to be bothered. 8/27/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today is an important day to me because this is the day I was laid
off in 1993, I was very upset that day, and I never thought that this day would
come. I thought that I would retire from the GE sometime; I never dreamed that
I would get laid off with 26.5 years of service. I remember that day with great
detail, especially when I was leaving the shop for the last time. I had no idea
what would happen to me, least of all that I would turn out to be a writer of
God’s Word. This I had never thought of, but here I am and want to be. 8/29/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Well today I bought a brand new truck, a nice maroon one. It set me
back quit a bit, but it is worth it. Now maybe I can get on track, so far I
showed it too Kelly’s family and Shayne’s family. I am having a good time, and
I don’t see why I shouldn’t! 8/30/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. Well today I spent most of the day at my sisters house, I had a good
time talking with Matt and Steve about my new truck. I had a good time there; I
had a sausage sandwich and some beans and potato salad. Those little kids are
great and very beautiful. After I came home I called Brian to confirm about his
coming down tomorrow, I really wanted him to come down and see the truck, so I
told him that I had a supries for him. So he came down thinking that he was
going get his $ 20 back and that is what he said, [I will never do that again,
believe me]. As he saw the truck the first words out of his mouth were, how
much the payment a month is? 9/3/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. I found a place that I could buy
things for my truck. I really like the new truck, but I think that they cheated
me. 9/5/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Today I saw my car driven off of the Hadad lot I think that they sold
it already, I bet that they made a lot of money from it. O well I really like
the truck and plan to have it a very long time. I went over to the grage and
Arthur let me put it up on the lift so that I could see the underneath of it,
it was funny he and I had a good time looking it all over at least he knew what
he was talking about. I even took a walk through the mall, I really got myself
a suprise in Sears I went to the place where they sell the computers, and told
the one armed guy working there today about what happened with my mouse
yesterday, and he just gave me a brand new mouse, [its got to be worth at least
$50], and he just handed it to me without paper work or anything [that really
surprised me]. 9/6/97 Daily Journal
Saturday. Today my step-ups came in. I’m giving Dennis a 30 pack of beer for
putting them on; he should do it soon. He’s a good guy. I am not lonely and it
feels good, I did not hear from Brian for the last week, maybe he’s mad at me. 9/15/97. Daily Journal
Monday. I went to see all my doctor’s; 9AM: Dr. Clutz said I was doing all
right, 9:30: Dr. Porvanjano eye doctor, he said that I was doing very well,
[very suprising], and last but not least Dr. Corkins, he is satisfied with my
progress, [just amazing] considering how I actually take care of myself. 9/22/97 Daily Journal
Monday. Tomorrow will be a brand new
day for me and the Lord. . 9/24/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today I took Kim and Steve down to the country Buffet and had lunch
this is Steves favorite place. 9/28/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I taught Kim to drive my truck,
and she did very well, she will have no trouble with it I am sure. She was
excited when she got home and told Kelly and Steve. Steve says that he will
come over for coffee; he is out of work again for his back. Steve took Steve
and went looking for the boy’s golf clubs, and they found what they were
looking for. 9/29/97. Daily Journal
Monday. Well today was long and boring, and this evening looks like it will be
mostly the same. The weather started out raining, and lasted long into the day.
I went out for a couple of rides, I do this when I am really at a loss to do
anything better. I was afraid to use the computer because there was thunder out
in the distance. But the night still continues, something may happen yet; there
will probably be a shoot out right here in front of the house; who knows; you
never know? Do you know what I am saying? 10/5/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Yesterday and today I took Kim out driving she is doing very well of
course today we almost hit a tree in the Southview cemetery. She is enjoying
this and I am also. 10/9/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. I found Pastor Chuck on the Internet, it was quit a discovery, I
didn’t do anything with it, but there is a lot of information there so I am
sure that I will spend a lot of time there. 10/12/97. Daily Journal Sunday. It is 11 AM looks
like it is going to be real good day weather wise. I have discovered that the
Jeremiah commentary I wanted to write in this journal is too much to do right
now; so maybe next year. 10/13/97 Daily Journal Monday. Danny just finished
putting in the last of my Daily Journals, I am very happy over this, he also
put in the Pastor Chuck tapes, and everything is now in the computer. Second
entry. I have been looking over my old entries and they seem to be better than
these new ones, so lets go back to that. Today I have been thinking about how my
life was when I was small, it is not a good thing to be thinking about. My
father came home drunk and just did terrible things, I think what started this
kind of thinking was a show on Ophra today; she was having a show about
disturbed children. I never thought that anything like this applied to me,
until today, they were describing me as a child. I hate to say it but I fit
what they were saying about these kinds of kids. 10/14/97. Daily Journal Tuesday. Today I took my
sister to the mall and stop and shop we had a good time, except that I had a
lot of pain and had to sit down a lot, I have no idea how I would ever work
anymore. .10/17/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Boy, 89 pages of these journals that’s really an accomplishment for me,
I don’t know how big these will be, but it looks that they will be written as
long as I can do them. 10/18/1997. Daily Journal Saturday. I didn’t hear from Brian, and
I don’t really mind, his interests are not mine and I think that I am rapidly
growing tired of him. He talks nonsense, and I don’t need to be aggravated all
the time. Weather wise today was very nice indeed. Now I hope to have my last
beers, have we heard this before?
Possibly! 10/20/97. Daily Journal Monday. Today I took my sister to the mall
we had a good time, but toward the last of the day I had a great deal of pain.
I try not to let it interfere but sometimes you cannot help it. Weather wise it
is very nice outside, and I am really enjoying the truck, they say that there
will be snow toward the end of the week, and then we will check out the truck. 10/26/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. Today was a very good day, and better than that even, Stevie called
this morning and stated that he and Kim were going to take me out to lunch, on
them. So we went down to the country Buffet, and we really had a good time,
just being able to go with them is so great to me I love them so. But like I
explained it too them, 10 years from now [when they are all grown], I will be
able to be doing the same thing with [My now little grandchildren], because at
that time they will be the age that Kim and Steve are now. My God I thank you
with all my heart for the life that you have given me. “PLEASE” make me do your
will in my life. 10/30/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. When I was a boy this night was caslled cabbage stalk night and we
really did some damage, I did quite a lot myself, it wasn’t right it was just
the way things were. Today I took my truck or its first servicing at 3,000
miles; I intend to keep this truck for a very long time. Maybe even the rest of
my life. This world [if I didn’t have my faith in God] would be a very
frightening place; I would be waiting for the worst everyday. I would love to
see my grandchildren grow up but I just don’t know. 11/1/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. I see the possibility of my
going through the tribulation. 11/3/97. Daily Journal
Monday. Today I took my sister to the mall we had a good time until she started
on my son in law Steve. She can’t wait to rip that guy down. I don’t know why
she is like that but I am getting tired of it and today she ripped my truck
down. If she tells me that one of her children is having troubles I am right
there trying to be supportive, I don’t do what she does by trying to make the
situation as worse as it could possibly be. 11/11/97 Daily Journal
Tuesday. Danny came down and we had a
good time kidding around, he did some things with the computer, and fixed up
those gray squiggly lines, they were driving me nuts. Kim and Steve took me out
for lunch as usual we had a great time.
11/13/97 Daily Journal
Thursday. I took my sister to the mall today, she is still trying to get
information on Steve and Kelley won’t she ever give up. I don’t try to pry into
their problems and they are my children, and yet she feels as though she has
that right, she does not. I would like to get some money to help Steve and
Kelly, I will know tomorrow at 10 AM. 11/14/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Today I drove my new truck in snow for the first time it preformed
great, it was like driving in the summer, it didn’t slip at all anywhere. On
Main Street in NAdams I stopped at the monument and took off with no problem
and that is very steep. In short I was like a kid with a new toy. 11/15/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. A cold day but a good day I took the tires to the garage to get rid
of them may be Art will give them to the young guy that works for him. This
morning Kim and Steve went to breakfast with me to the Misty moonlight. I enjoy
it; one day they will be all grown up and busy with their own families. 11/19/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. Kim and Steve had a half day at
school so we went out and had a very good time. We went to the mall and bought
the rest of Brianna’s Christmas gifts. And then we went to Barnes and Noble and
I got a couple more of the prophecy books; they will be part of my new studies.
Those start tomorrow. From tomorrow on the daily journal should be quite
different. 11/22/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. A great day, I went out for breakfast with the kids and we had a great
time, then I came home and read some of the Bible and took a nap. Then the kids
called and me and Steve and Kim went for a driving lesson and then we went to
the mall and then we had our supper at the Country Buffet. I bought a couple
more books that will be of use in my new evening studies. 11/24/97. Daily Journal
Tuesday. I finally started in Romans the book Pulpit Commentary in this is much
better than I thought it would be, so I am started. 11/25/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today I picked up little Steve at school at 12:30 PM and we went out
to eat and to the mall for a while, we had a good time this was the first time
that we went just the 2 of us. He’s a very good boy he will do well in life;
he’s one awfully big 13 years old. I think that he is beginning to have a
better understanding of me than he ever did. And for this I am very glad. 11/27/97. Daily Journal
Thanksgiving. This morning was very nice, I went to Kelly’s house for
breakfast, it was nice there were people coming out of the walls, but everybody
had a good time. The only family that wasn’t there was Danny’s, I don’t know
why that was, but he must have had a good reason. 11/28/97. Daily Journal
Black Friday. I got going with Romans and as soon as I got started it went
smooth. Today is black Friday. 11/30/97. Daily Journal Sunday.
I took out Kim and Steve, we had a real good time, they finished their
Christmas shopping they had a portrait made for their parents. It is now
residing in my bedroom, what better hiding place? We ate out at the Country Buffet
and it was nice. They were kidding each other all day I thoroughly enjoyed from
beginning to end. 12/3/97.Daily Journal
Wednesday. Today was cold, and windy, I
took a ride down and got the gift for Audery’s Baptism. What a sweet child she
is. 12/7/97. Daily Journal Sunday. Today is little
Audrey’s baptism, in fact I just came from Danny’s house, I was right next too
Claire in church, and thinking about what we brought about here on the earth.
And then there was Woodpile and we had a little talk about how it was that Dan
and his Colleen ever got together, he and I used to ride back and forth
together to work in the GE while his wife was pregnant for Colleen. And now
there is little Evan and Audrey from Dan and Colleen, Brianna was adopted by Danny,
for which I am very proud of him. I had a little something to eat up there it
was fine, when I was ready to leave, Shayne walked me down the stairs, he had
little Michael with him, our family is really growing. It always bothers me
when I see them together and Claire is there, but at least I can be thankful
that she didn’t bring her husband with her. 12/9/97. Daily Journal Tuesday. Dion called at about
20 to 10, well at least he is safe here on the ground, (Flew in from Florida) I
asked him to come down tonight, but he is busy with family. I have to make a
change nothing else will do, maybe while Dion is here. Who knows? 12/10/97. Wednesday Daily Journal. Today Dion showed
up at about 8 AM, he was still drunk from last night, I gave him breakfast that
seemed to help, but it didn’t shut him up at all, he babbled insently all day.
We went to Greenfield to see his father, who seemed like a nice version of
Bill. On the way home we stopped at his house in Pittisfield, and it is a very
nice place, we talked about my renting it, I am thinking about it. Then we went
to the mall and I introduced him to the guy in the catholic gift shop, they
seemed to hit it off well. I asked him if he wanted to eat with me and he did,
all in all it was a nice way to pass the day. He is supposed to come here
tomorrow, maybe another good day, we will see. 12/11/97. Daily Journal Thursday Dion came down
again today and we went out to breakfast at the chef’s hat, that was nice then
we went to my sister’s house and had a little visit. I’ll talk to her about
what she thought when we go out next week. After that, we went to the mall and
had some coffee, and then we walked around the mall for a while; all the time
him chattering incessantly about nothing. Then we came back through Adams and
stopped at the Friendly in N. Adams, and had something to eat, he stopped at
the house for a minuet and then was gone for maybe another 3 years or so. I was
glad to see him for a couple of days. He really can be fun sometimes. 12/12/97 Daily Journal Friday. Dion is now traveling
home and probably stopped right now for eating and resting; I would hate to
have to do a drive like that. Thirteen hundred miles as fast as you can; Dion
says that he makes it in a day and a half, O how tired would you be after that.
I don’t know and don’t want to know. Today was kind of dreary; I hope that it
was better where Bill was traveling. I
didn’t get up until after 11; that’s ridiculous, but I am going to change that
starting tomorrow. 12/14/97.
Daily Journal Sunday. I didn’t go to church, and I should have I will make up
for that one way or the other. This morning Kelly’s family bowered the truck to
get their Christmas tree, that’s all right. Then I went out for my normal ride.
I go to the store in VT and from their take a ride to N. Adams. This is part of
my daily routine, where else am I going ride too. I did a small amount of work
in Romans, too little! 12/22/97. Daily Journal Sunday. This is the second
weekend that I have not heard from Brian, I really don’t know what he is mad at
me for this time, maybe because I am happy to have Christmas with my
grandchildren. Today is cold, not very nice for arthritis. 12/22/97 Daily Journal
Monday. My sister and I had a problem today, I am just so sick of her running
down the truck, that I told her about it, and she didn’t like and tried to turn
it into something that it was not. I paid $23,000 for this thing and I don’t
feel good when she decides to run it down. There are a lot of things that she
says lately that I don’t like to hear, if she doesn’t cut it out she is going
to find herself driving to the mall alone. I don’t like to be upset and she is
doing this all the time. 12/24/97. Daily Journal
Wednesday. Christmas eve and the kids have just left, they are going to their
mothers house. We had a good time it is always good to see them, the pork roast
came out better than ever. Little Evan slept he was tired, believe me little
Mike made up for him. Brianna was happy with her gifts and littlest of all
Audrey was extremely good. My sister called while they were all hear I had to
cut her short, I called her back later and she was busy with hers. Kim came
over during the day and helped me with everything, Steve gave me a $30 gift
certificate for Barnes and Noble, and I really appreciate that. This year has brought us closer together
than we have ever been. 12/25/97. Daily Journal
Thursday. Christmas. A very long and boring day, I was going to go to Danny’s
to eat but Colleen was sick so that finished that, and Kelly didn’t invite me
over and she knew that I was alone. So what are you going to do? Well at least
this Budweiser beer that I borrowed from Bernie is good. 12/26/97. Daily Journal
Friday. Today was a very long and boring day indeed, it is now 7:10 and I wish
that it was later than it is, today I want this to be my last day of drinking.
Tomorrow I want my life to be for our great and loving God, He has done so much
for me, I’d like to give Him the rest of my life. I love you lord, be back
tomorrow please help me, I can’t do this without you and don’t want to even to
try to do this alone, all I need is you. 12/27/97. Daily Journal
Saturday. Well I spent some time with Brian today we went to the mall, we had a
good time, nothing negative came out of him today and that was a vast
improvement. He even came back in the evening and we had a few beers together.
All in all it turned out to be a good day. 12/28/97. Daily Journal
Sunday. I just cane back from Danny’s they gave me a real nice lunch there, it
was from Christmas when Colleen was sick and couldn’t do it, I expected to see
Ron there but he had to work. Today is cold; I thought that I was going to
freeze my hands on the railing at Danny’s house. 12/29/97. Daily Journal
Monday. The phone rang this morning and lo and behold Bob was on it I was very
surprised. I meant him at the mall and we had coffee and laughed and talked,
for an hour or so. Then we walked around for a while, I haven’t seen him in a
few years but he looks good especially compared to me. We had a long talk about
the Internet and I think that he is going to go on, that will be interesting. 12/31/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. New Years Eve. Well the end of
1997, for me it wasn’t a bad year all in all it was a good year, I completed
the Pastor Chuck tapes and I am glad that I accomplished that, but I will never
do it again, once was quite enough. I started a new study, from now on; every
December I am going to read a different commentary on Revelation, this year I
read the Biblical library series. Tomorrow I have all kinds of different
studies that I am going to start I will list them tomorrow. I don’t know why
but for some unknown reason I am looking forward to 98, who knows what this New
Year will bring. Maybe I will learn to get along with people better, and most
important draw nearer to God; this is what I want most out of this year. I’ve
resolved now to never drink again. 1/3/98. Daily Journal
Saturday. Debbie’s birthday; I called her last night to wish her happy
birthday, we didn’t talk very long she was busy. 1/7/97. Daily Journal Wednesday. I went to breakfast with Steve we had a good time, we went to Friendlys; I just seemed to fool around for the rest of the day, another wasted day hopefully this will end tomorrow if tomorrow ever comes you know what I mean? No! 1/9/98. Daily Journal
Friday. I did a little study in 1st John it was good, the rest of
the day was at best boring. It was damp and foggy, not very nice, no sun broke
through at all, a good day to sleep; some time I am going to do that, just stay
in bed. I watched a lot of Sunny Bono’s funeral Chere gave a nice talk about
their early life together, Chastity was also there, but didn’t say anything. 1/10/98. Daily Journal
Saturday. Well not a good day at all I am disappointed because the kids are not
going to go with me tomorrow. I was really looking forward to taking them out,
but these things happen, of course it will depress me what else is new?
Tomorrow a lot of study and that’s just the start, and it will continue until
this coming spring. 1/15/98. Daily Journal
Thursday. I took my sister to the mall, this is the day that Bernie left for
Viet Nam, it was good for her to get out. And she was grateful for me coming up
to get her. He has a very good paying job, but all that traveling I would hate,
he will be gone for about 2 weeks. But we passed the day and had a good time to
boot. Today it was very cold and as the day went by it seemed to get colder,
tonight it is supposed to be bad out with snow and rain. Tomorrow I probably
won’t go out at all, if I am smart. I bought about $55 worth of books on
prophecy; I think that I will do a commentary on each of them and some others
like them that I have recently bought. 12/17/98. Daily Journal
Saturday. Today I went to the mall with Brian and saw Kelley, and Kim when I
was getting something to eat and then I saw my sister and Chip and Janet. Didn’t really do any
shopping we just walked around, and had some good times. 1/18/98 Daily Journal
Sunday. I took my sister out to eat and too the mall and the grocery store we
had a good time. Chip says that I look real old, he doesn’t see me very much
and any change under those circumstances really show. I am not getting the
chess moves from Danny like I should be, maybe he just doesn’t want to do this
I should not push him that’s not right. 1/19/98. Daily Journal
Monday. Today I did something very different for me; I went out for a ride and
went to what used to be Shaperio Chevy. I was looking for a 2-door regular size
car they sell Chevy’s and Olds, I didn’t find one and the kid working there
said that they had a Corvette on hand. So I went in to look at that, he was all
excited, believe me. Once inside somebody said my name, and I didn’t recognize
him, he told me that he knew me but I did not recognize him, it was Larry
Bodrou. A guy from a long gone time, he brought back a lot of memories from a
long dead time, a life that is completely different from my life as it is now.
It affected me kind of funny, I don’t know, that was a different place in my
life; I was not at all as I am now. So it was a very different kind of a day
for me. Now all I want to do is to live for God and Jesus, I don’t know how
long ago it was that this all started. I must get back to that way of thinking,
please Lord I need your help. I don’t know why all this way of living has
changed, it really hasn’t but then something is wrong; my Father in Heaven, please
help me to get back. 1/20/98. Tuesday Daily
Journal. Today I did some work in Timothy, tomorrow I will finish it, every day
I will increase my time at these studies. Brian just called it is now 6:30 PM
he is going to eat with me Thursday, that will be nice. Today I bought some
wine maybe it is better than beer for me, we will see. 1/25/98. Daily Journal Sunday. Today I talked to Shawn about doing
e-mail, he didn’t seem to be excited about doing this, in fact he seemed to
want me off the phone and this was not the first time I have had this feeling.
This upset me, I should not have let this happen but it did, I guess I wasn’t a
very good father figure to him. I do love him so and that only makes it worse.
What have I done! Other than all of that I had a good day, I went out to
breakfast with Kelley and her family. And then we went down and played pool all
afternoon. We had a good time.
2/3/98. Daily Journal
Tuesday. Well I didn’t do anything that I thought was of any consequence at
all. I don’t know how I do this, some days like this one I can kind of look
back over the day and I can’t even remember what I did because I did nothing of
merit at all. 2/8/98. Daily Journal
Sunday. I went out and took Brian with me and was sorry for it, he can find
more things wrong with me than anyone I know. So I have nothing to say today, I
am getting tired of him. Then he calls me back later and apologizes, my
question is why did he say these things in the first place, and why do I put up
with this stuff. Maybe I will have something better to say tomorrow.
8/30/98
Thursday Daily Journal. Tomorrow I leave for Debbie’s wedding. Jeremiah chapter
5. God says if I can find any man that is seeking the truth, and right
judgment; I will pardon it. God wants to forgive us and help us He does not
want us to fail so he can punish us. He loves us. And He says even though they
are saying the Lord liveth they are lying and this is true of many people even
though they say praises to God and Jesus they are in reality lying even to
themselves. What a fool I’ve been. God is angry and is saying what will happen
to them and probably us for the rebellion that is our way, He says that they
will be destroyed by a nation that they don’t even understand their language.
The language of truth spoken by the nation of understanding; incomprehensible
to the ears of the fool! God is saying the people go against me. Why shouldn’t
I judge them? In the last verse God is saying that the prophets prophesy
falsely, what are people doing but exactly this they talk about God’s word and
they twist it to say what they want it to say. I would hate to be the people
when they have to stand before God and answer Him about what they said about
His Holy Word. They lie about
everything they are sickening, I sometimes wonder why we are still here. And
God hasn’t just wiped us out.
Daily Journal 2-24-99 Wednesday tonight I was watching
Star trek and it reminded me of my marriage. There were years that we were very
happy but not always. There was the night I came home and to my surprise Louie
was there ready to taker Claire to the carnival. And she went off because I was
home to take care of Shawn. She was using him but he didn’t know till the last
minute. I was remembering when I would call her from Sprague’s wanting to come
home because I didn’t feel good the answer was always the same NO! it didn’t
matter what I had. O well what are you going to do? Another boring entry.
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